Find the partner you want

So if you've been making choices all along, why don't you already have what you want in a partner? Perhaps it's because, like many of us, you haven't realized that you need to clarify what you want before you can choose well for yourself. When you order food from a menu, you know that you need to specify what kind of salad dressing you want or how rare you'd like your steak. Otherwise, you'll have to take what the kitchen sends you. It's the same with relationships. When you get clear about what you desire, you open the way for it to come to you. When it comes to you, you will be able to recognize it and receive it.

Finding the partner who will make you happy is one of the most important things in life. Why leave it up to chance, fate, or a blind date? You wouldn't choose a job, a school, or a house without being clear about your desires and doing a lot of research. Why not give yourself the same advantage when choosing the person you want to share your life with? You can draw toward you the partner and the relationship you desire simply by clarifying what is important to you and making good choices for yourself.

Exercise your power of choice

My method of making lists and interviewing allows you to get clear about what you want in a partner, then exercise your power of choice to have what you want. It's simple and the results can be stunning. Thousands of
women have already used this system to have what they want with a man. Now men and women can use it to attract the partner you've been yearning for. First, throw away that written or mental list of a partner's ideal qualities. Everyone has a list like that, whether it's in your head or in a notebook. Don't we? Do you want a man who looks Harrison Ford or a woman who looks like Halle Barry? How about a marathon runner who wants to watch sports five hours a day, never complains about housework, has a great sense of humor and an IQ of 175, loves dogs, speaks five languages, and brings in a six-figure income? Whatever your ideal, it's time to get real. Then you can attract the walking, talking, real-life human being you want into your life. Wouldn't it be nice to be able to choose what you want in a partner and get it, like ordering food in a restaurant? "I'll take one caring person who is ready to have a long-term relationship and wants to cherish me. And can I have a side of a large bank account, please, and I'll finish with a sports fan who's athletic. Hmm, what do I want to drink? How about a pint of likes to travel. Thanks, and oh, I'm kind of in a hurry so can you ask the chef to put in my order ASAP?"

When you eat out, you read the menu, get clear about what you want, then order it. Magically, it comes to you. What if you could do the same when it comes to choosing a good partner for yourself? Of course you can't just choose a partner from a menu, yet you do have a lot more choice than you may realize. You are making choices all the time, either actively or passively.
How can you do this? By making the following five heartfelt lists that reflect your true desires and priorities. These lists allow you to be focused about what you want. They will help you let go of the ideal picture you've been holding and get realistic about what will bring you happiness. You won't find an ideal out there, but you can find a real human being who will make you happy -- when he or she is treated well, understood, loved, and appreciated.

These five lists will change the way you approach dating and relationships. It is important to keep your heart open to yourself as you make your lists. Gaining clarity is a loving thing to do for yourself because it allows you to attract and recognize the partner you desire. Before writing, breathe a few times with your hand on your heart so you can connect with what's loving for yourself. Do the lists in pencil until you're sure you've got them right, then write them in pen.

After they're written in pen, they are set in stone. They represent what you want, and you owe it to yourself to stick to them. You can have what you want when you make your lists, stick to them, and use the answers to interview potential partners.
List #1: The Six "Musts"

The six "musts" are the attributes a potential partner absolutely must have for you to consider him or her. If a person doesn't have these qualities, you will eventually leave the relationship. Getting clear about your "musts" can save you a lot of heartache. How many people have had their hearts broken because their partner doesn't want to get married and they do, or their partner doesn't want to have children and they do?

If you want to get married and have children, those are two of your "musts." If you want someone who shares your religion, that would be a third "must." If you want someone with a certain amount of financial stability, that's a fourth "must." The remaining "musts" might have to do with where someone lives, how much time they can spend with you, their moral code, whether or not they already have children by a former partner, or whatever is of supreme importance to you.

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